So about a month ago, I found myself crossing "Run a Marathon" off my bucket list. Yes! Hooray! This runners-high lasted about a week, and then.....nothing. The time I invested in training and running and thinking about my goal was now empty, or rather, filled with the feeling that I should be doing something, but what? Perfect time to become a stellar blogger, right? Yeah.....not so much.
My first thought was, "Okay, it's cool, don't panic, just pick something else from your Bucket List and work on that." Choosing to run the marathon was easy. It was something I have wanted to do since I started running and I knew that it would help me to feel like I truly conquered something on my own. But seriously, what else on my bucket list can do that? Of coarse, my line of thinking about the marathon....and my tendency to be OCD led to me completely re-evaluating my life, my career, and my hair. More on that later.
Instead of just picking something and... (inserting terrible pun here) running with it like I did with the marathon, I chose to analyze what I'm currently doing....to death....and panic at the thought that I may not be truly following my bliss. This is a Joseph Campbell concept, "following your bliss" and since learning about it in grad school...it's helped....or haunted me ever since. Basically, Good Ol' Joe + OCD = PANIC. Am I really doing what I'm meant to be doing?! Am I doing something meaningful?! I'm good at what I do, but do I love it?! If the answer is no.....how do I change it?! How do I get from here to there...."here" being practical, responsible, desk job Kate to "there" being awesome, creative, ambitious, impactful, emotionally and professionally satisfied...ahem...gorgeous Kate?!
Thus, my search for answers began. I've vented to friends...and co-workers....and my dogs (who are the best listeners), asking them the same Good Ol' Joe questions. Terrifyingly enough, they have the same questions. SHIT! You're my friends! You're the smartest people I know! Your the smartest...and cutest dogs in the world! Come on! No dice.
So there I sat...spinning my wheels, feeling like I should be doing something creative, something great, something that would push me out of my comfort zone. I posted a status on facebook asking 300 of my closest friends for advice about what this "new and different" thing could be in my life. 90% of the people who responded....said I should have a baby. COME ON! Seriously? I can't even hold my own life together! And you people want me to have a BABY?! Back to the drawing board....
And then fate stepped in....in the form of a woman with a mohawk. I went to my regularly-scheduled hair appointment with Fabulous Chris, the most amazing and delicious-looking gay hairstylist I know. I arrived a little early and he was finishing up with another client. They were chatting about hip events coming up in town (that I've never heard of) and music they love (again, that I've never heard of) and he was putting the finishing touches on the most glorious blonde mohawk I've ever seen. I made some comment about wishing I was that brave and that I've always wanted a mohawk. One thing led to another...and here I sit, with a brand new 'do. Not quite a mohawk....but mohawk-esque.
It is 100% representative of the in-between feeling I have. It strandles the line between "here" and "there." Its shorter, funkier, and pushed me out of my comfort zone...but its desk-job appropriate (e.i. slightly lame) and not hot-pink (I know, I'm as disappointed as you are). I hope, as new haircuts have done for me in the past, that this leads to new and exciting changes. I hope that this haircut gives me the confidence and the guts to find whatever it is I am looking for. I know....its a lot to ask of a haircut....but I'm sure if I asked Fabulous Chris, he would say, "It's fierce. And so are you."
I love your haircut!! But...I'm in the "you should have a baby" club. Sorry. You'll never be *ready*.
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